I find myself at a very interesting age ( 40…and I was lying…it’s not that interesting ). By all accounts, I still“look” like a relatively young man. To look at me, you might even think I’m in my late 20′s. Unless, of course, you slowly creep up on me and get a better look. Then you can see the criss-crossed wrinkles beginning to take shape around my eyes and while you’re that close, you can probably catch a whiff of Ben Gay or Icy Hot, which is now used to keep my joints in motion, or I would end up “locking up” like the Tin Man in The Wizard of Oz . By the way, it is probably best, when you DO run into me, to “creep” up on me. If people start“bounding” towards me, I generally get startled and take on a defensive posture, quite possibly the “Crane Technique” (if my knees hold out). I’m also at the age where I am losing some of my ability to “hear” like a normally-functioning human being. So the subtle “creep up” will be best in that scenario. It is usually just a pleasant surprise when someone does. “Oh, I didn’t see you there,” I’ll say, “What a pleasant surprise”. However, do NOT confuse this with “sneaking up” on me, in which case, I will probably lunge at you with the ferocity of a lioness protecting its cubs OR will simply become so frightened by your aggressive approach, that I will keel over and suffer a massive heart attack .
These are precisely the types of things I think about while I am waiting to be seen at the HOSPITAL. Which is exactly where I found myself yesterday for about 12 hours. Now, let me just assure you that I am OKAY. As far as You know. Thanks for the Well-Wishes and there is no need to send flowers. Although, donations are ALWAYS welcomed. But, while sitting there, amongst a crowd of roughly 423 people next to a trash can that smelled like urine and a drunk man in a wheel chair who kept asking me what was wrong with me and telling me about the best places to get a “cheap beer”, I realized something. I am getting OLD. . . ISH . (the emphasis on ISH)
In fact, I hadn’t realized how my physical ailments had manifest themselves in my subconscious, until I came home last night and decided to take part in one of my ALL TIME favorite things to do. . . read my own stuff. Not including the 3 or 4 entries aboutPoop or Poop-related themes, I reference the inability to Poop or Pooping dificulties at least 1,483 times in my blog (thought I’d save you the time of looking yourself-You’re Welcome). So as much as I didn’t feel like telling my new friend at the hospital, what my “ailment” was. . . I will share it with you. . . You are SO lucky to be reading this today.
#6 Crossing Jordan (’01-’07) Jordan Cavanaugh. . . Say it again. . . Jordan Cavan Ahhhh — just kidding. But she (Jill Hennessey) made me Happy Inside. As far as equal time for the ladies, they had “Woody Hoyt” (the fat kid from Stand By Me aka. Jerry O’Connell ) for the ladies. They also had the creepy and ambiguous Steve Valentine for those of the audience that weren’t sure “what” they were up for. This show chronicled the experiences of yet another Medical Examiner (Jordan) and her quirky team of misfits on finding out the COD (Cause of Death OR Cash on Delivery) of the victims of each show. However, NBC had to go and “muck up” the works, by introducing a ‘sexual tension‘ between Jordan’s character and (ahem) Woody’s character. Why do they do that when they run out of ideas for a show? Didn’t “Moonlighting” get that out of everybody’s system? THAT is the ONLY show in which that worked for any length of time. In the end they even managed to screw THAT up.
#5 M*A*S*H* (’72-’83) I’ll be honest. I have never seen the original MOVIE that this show was based upon. I hear it was pretty dark and wasn’t half as entertaining. But I think there is something to be said for a show that can galvanize a nation. I think this show did that. Upon its debut and amidst the fallout of the Vietnam War, we clung to this Oddball Cast, as a part of our family. My favorite character was probably the same as everyone else’s. I Loved Hawkeye. Oh, sure Klinger was okay, but the “dressing in drag” thing went on WAY too long. Luckily, they finally caught on to that and phased it out. But this show had it all. Humor, Drama, Poignancy and the Guts to unapologetically take on some themes that were being played out in our own country at the time. All this without being preachy or flippant (unless you were Hawkeye). The final episode will always hold a special place in my heart and perfectly brought to an end, one of the Best Shows of All Time. (Doctors or none)
#3 Scrubs (’01-Did they cancel this or is ABC trying to keep it going now?) Another show boasting a character who thinks like I do. Dr. Cox(John C. McGinley – who even in beer commercials can’t escape type-casting, but that’s Okay) says what we all want to say. I do too, but most of the characters in the show, either ignore him or realize this character flaw (actually a wonderful attribute that we should all possess-saving us both time and explanations to ‘stupid people’) and go about their fictional day. I guess (Zach Braff) is pretty funny as “J.D.”. His relationship with best friend “Turk” is pretty solid and closely resembles the typical “I Scratch Your Back, You Watch My Ass” ‘guy-friend’ mentality out there. But they had to go and introduce the ‘sexual tension’ thing again with “Elliot” (a chick, despite the name) that kind of set this one in a downward spiral. Now if they’d thought to put some ‘tension’ in there between the “Janitor” character and J.D., they might have had something. No matter, this one is still a heckuva’ good time and I Laugh out Loud, every time I watch it.(I don’t LOL, because to me, that’s disrespectful and seems more like a snicker)
‘Til Then. . . Go Figg’r!
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