Yes. . . Yes, they are. So NOW what? Pitbulls. . . You either love ‘em. . . or you hate ‘em. . . There don’t appear to be any “shades of gray”. I don’t think I’ve ever heard anyone EVER say, “Pitbulls? . . . Ah, I can take ‘em or leave ‘em,”. . . First of all you can’t ”take ‘em” ANYWHERE (forget about LEAVING them anywhere) . . . It has been MY observation that if they are TAKEN anywhere, people generally scatter. Have you ever seen someone at the park or walking a pitbull in a public place? Hey!. . . This might be the PERFECT opportunity for a FART Analogy:
It’s like if ”someone” (or YOU) ever farted in gym class in high school during the “jumping jack” portion of calisthenics.
All the students are standing in their specified place in the “Rows of Humiliation” (In the park scenario – you are having a picnic lunch with your innocent and helpless children)
Then you begin the exercise. You are “minding your own” and jumping to the count (In the park, you just set out a very neat & organized picnic spread for your helpless and hungry children)
- THEN it happens -
-
In gym class: 10. . . 11. . . 12. . . PPFFFtttt!
-
At the park: Owner arrives “on the scene” with pitbull in tow
. . . This is where the outcome of both scenarios intersects (I draw a parallel and get to the point of my analogy)
In both instances, you will note that a perfect circle or “buffer zone” is formed around you and the perpetrator (i.e. the “farter” or the “pitbull owner”) to make ample room and keep a “safe” distance from someone who has just taken it upon themselves to RUIN EVERYTHING. . .
In gym class the imaginary boundary is formed by those who surround the guilty party. They bounce sideways, keeping count. (PPFFFttt!. . . 14 *bounce* 15 *bounce further* 16 *further*) If you were to peer down on the class from the rafters on the rope you are forced to climb (then chafe your legs horribly when you decide it would be “fun” to slide down) , it would almost look like a well-synchronized dance, with the “Belle of the Ball” dead center. But YOU know the scoop. . . You all had Beanie~Weanie Casserole for lunch.
In the “Death Dog from HELL” scenario, wherever the pitbull and its owner walks – a rush of movement would envelope them as if people were doing “the WAVE”. If people were lying down, they would rise and move away from the immediate path of the animal and it’s handler. Only to be seated again once it had safely passed. (Please note sometimes people scoop up their kids with one hand and leave the park altogether, swearing NEVER to return. . . SOME people do that) Were you to be a little bird flying overhead in the summer sky looking down on the park that day, you might think you were witnessing a field of wheat. . . Or perhaps an outdoor “Main Event Boxing Match”, Like when boxers enter the arena with their managers and entourage and the crowd parts to make way. Okay. . . So you got the visual?. . . Yes?. . . But not the point. . . (that’s okay)
Pitbulls and Pitbull owners are viewed, in our society, as a bunch of FLATULENT REJECTS and boxing enthusiasts. Is this FAIR?. . . nope. . . probably not. Do I CARE that it isn’t? . . . nope. . . probably not. Do YOU? . . . apparently YES. . . at least the people in the town I like to call “Bakersfield” do. I like to call it “Bakersfield”, because that is what it was named in 1869 after one “Colonel Thomas Baker” (a confirmed pitbull lover, finder of gold stuff and colonel of some type
) . . . AND. . . because if you could hear the way I say “Bakersfield”, you’d understand how much I HATE it. . . I say it like all whiny and nasally. Like a kid teasing his little sister about playing with dolls:
“You still play with BABY TOYS!” sounds a LOT like “You still live in BAKERSFIELD!” (my family HATES that)
I’ve been asked a couple times (I’d say I’m often asked – but that is a LIE and to be honest I was only asked ONCE – by myself. . . like 5 seconds ago, when I thought it up) “What’s with all the FART and CRAP analogies?” For any of you that have known me through my blog since its inception a year ago, you undoubtedly know I suffer from “Stomach and Bowel” disorders. Therefore my mind often goes there. . . because the rest of me doesn’t. . . go. . . ANYWHERE. Some of that was to have changed during the course of a surgery I had this past week. Unfortunately, someone forgot to tell my surgeon which procedure he was supposed to do. I’m not sure if he was hungover from the night before or still drunk . . .
All I know is that my abdomen looks like raw hamburger meat and the side-effects I am suffering are worse than the disease it was supposed to control. Let’s just say, I think I got a hysterectomy and that I can only swallow while facing West. . . at around 3 PM.
All Seriousness Aside. . .
Because of my “Down Time”, I had the opportunity to do a little more reading than usual. (For the record ANY is more than usual) Due to a wonderful SOCIETAL GLITCH, it seems that BAKERSFIELD
(where I -gulp- live) has cornered the market on “Crazy Folks and Pitbulls”. I mean, I know there are plenty of both EVERYWHERE, but if you were talkin’ “per capita”?. . . I think we’d win some sort of prize or something. My son pointed out a local news story and subsequent “public forum” on the internet regarding the incident that I just HAD to share. It’s about a “PITBULL ATTACK”. I understand that I have a whole SECTION on this site devoted to bashing Bakersfield, but this topic really spoke to me. I think it also speaks to a large segment of our society.
Remember. . . There seems to be TWO schools of thought in regards to Pitbulls. . . One school is attended by people that say, “Pitbull?. . . AHHHH!!!!! Get me a GUN!”, while the others seem to be more Peace-Loving Folk that might say, “Pitbulls? . . . Ahhhh, lovely creatures. I have 12 of them myself. Last year when our baby boy came down with ‘the Whooping Cough’, our mama dog ‘Buttercup’ could sense little ‘Jasper’ was sick. . . I’ll be darned if she didn’t breast feed that boy and make him ‘Right as Rain’. . . His mom woulda’ done it, but she was in jail that summer for check forgery . . . Go on and look for yourself. . . That’s ‘Jasper’ and ‘Buttercup’ over yonder. . . killin’ a cat. . . pitbulls have a heart of gold, I tell ya’ “.
So here is the story as I read it yesterday. (Please note that the person responsible left explicit instructions that republishing this content VERBATIM, was PROHIBITED!) So instead of reproducing it that way I’m just copying and pasting it “WORD FOR WORD”. Dude! It’s a pitbull story! You ain’t gonna’ win a Pulitzer! I am including the subsequent community “backlash” from the news, as it was shared in the comments of the “Newsroom Forum”. Not being one to sit idly by, while people made complete IDIOTS out of themselves, I may have accidentally shared my OWN feelings on the matter as well. (My thoughts are highlighted in RED – for better hallway vision – sorry, Breakfast Club thing)If you do NOT find the following remarks entertaining, funny or remotely interesting. . . well, find something else to read. . . I’ve been sick. . .
OILDALE, Calif. — An Oildale man is recovering in the hospital after being attacked by two pit bulls. The attack happened around dusk Thursday night at a home in the 500 block of Wisteria Street.Family members who witnessed the attacked told ABC 23 that 29 year-old Luis L**** was attacked unprovoked by two pit bulls. According to L****’s girlfriend, he had been to that home many times before to talk to the residents who live there and nothing ever happened with the dogs.
“He just walked up to the door and knocked. They opened the door and one of the dogs went after his leg. Luis knocked off the dog from his leg, and that’s when the other pit attacked his face and I started to
“He just walked up to the door and knocked. They opened the door and one of the dogs went after his leg. Luis knocked off the dog from his leg, and that’s when the other pit attacked his face and I started to scream, said Victoria Flye.
Dr. Vip Dev, a local plastic and reconstructive surgeon got the call to do the emergency surgery late Thursday. L**** had extensive reconstructive surgery done to his face, nose and lips as a result of the attack.
The attack happened in front of Flye and L****’s daughter who said they are now dealing with the emotional scars. What makes matters worse for the family is that they don’t have medical insurance.
Dev said he is not going to charge the family for his services to repair L****’s face, which would have cost more than $10,000.
*sniff* eh-hem, *sniff* A nice “human interest piece”, right? Good Samaritan/Plastic Surgeon takes an afternoon away from the golf course, to complete $10,000 worth of surgery for FREE. Keep in mind he can make that up by double booking some “augmentations” and a tummy tuck. Then there’s the TRAGIC story: Pitbull attack opens up debate on legislation. . . blah, blah, blah. . .
Here’s what my neighbors (and I) had to say. . . joined in progress. . .
Doxin
I can’t wait to see all the stupid comments from people who will say ignorant things about Oildale.
sylvia
Most owners of pitbulls will say that their dog is gentle. I believe them, but when you see two or more together they are acting as a pack. And a pack of dogs are out to hunt. Whenever you see two or more dogs out unsupervised, BE CAREFULL!!! Educate your children and protect your small pets.
victim for provoking the dogs. that’s rediculous. He had been
there several times before. The dogs are dangerous and
left this poor (litually) guy scared for life. The breed can’t be
trusted. 2 or more create a pack mentality it’s proven.
Lol, you people are missing the whole point here. You are acting as if these two dogs were on some kind of killing spree. Firstly, they were in their own home, yard, property. Secondly, the person who learned a good lesson stated that he had been there (the said residence) before and had nothing happen. To me that statement tells all. He either provoked the dogs or made some threatening gesture. If you would hurt a dog for doing what it is supposed to do, then the next time you have intent on hurting these poor animals, may they know its coming and bleed you out.
To “dude” commenting on the “dude” who deserved it. . . Dude. . . really? Also to the other “dude” commenting that people are “pit-bashing homosexuals” for hating pit-bulls. . . shouldn’t you be pickin’ up a trick on Union or dropping your kids off at their grandparent’s house right about now, so you can go over to you homey’s house smoke a couple blunts and choke down a forty or two? I LOVE when people defend pitbulls. . . because people are idiots. Don’t get me wrong. Not ALL people are idiots. Just people that own pitbullls. (You will find that the pitbull owners who own GOOD pitbulls will not be offended by me saying that – Partly because they can handle criticism with a certain sense of maturity, but mainly because they know we live in a world with blathering buttholes who will stop at nothing to “prove” THEIR dog is different) Get OVER yourselves! They are animals. They can SNAP. Do NOT try to dispute that. . . You can’t. There are too many mutilated 3 and 4 year olds out there that bear witness to that FACT. As far as “the ‘Dale”? . . . Sure it sucks. It’s a vast, cavernous wasteland inhabited by soulless, vacuous eyes waiting day after day by their mailbox, like a scene from “Groundhog Day” on the off chance their WELFARE check came a day early, only to relive that day OVER and OVER until they can get another “fix”. (I KNOW. . . I have neighbors) Pit bulls are animals. They can kill. Stop trying to train them to kill. . . But just so I don’t misspeak, the decrepid 66 year old on oxygen was going to “hurt” the owner of the pitbull? Did I get that right, Punchy? I have a 4 kids, live in Oildale and let EVERYONE know – If their Pitbull is loose around my house – I EXPECT you to hold me accountable for EVERY single thing I do to it. . . To the other guy commenting on who would beat whom down the street. . . A Pitbull or a pedestrian?. . . My money is on the dog catcher and the cops. . . Maybe not the first time, but they will catch up with you eventually – But hopefully not to identify a loved-one’s body.You folks humor me. . .later
If an old man knocked on your door and told you to “Knock it off with the noise”, what would you do? Shoot him in the face? Take a baseball bat ot hacksaw to him? Oh, I forgot. . . this is Bakersfield. People need to get a clue. Borrow one from someone. Just stop making excuses for dogs you can’t control.
Oh, for the guy that was inferring that “race” had anything to do with MY statement? (even if it wasn’t me you were referring to). . . get a grip. 40′s and blunts are taken in abundantly in Bakersfield by a diverse group of people that I find annoying. Many colors, many creeds, many car washes paying for funeral expenses. Ignorance IS colorblind.
Let’s think this through for just a moment…it is true that “pit bulls” (by the way, their real name is the American Pit Bull Terrier) have a fighting history…in no way, shape, or form do I condone dog fighting or the cowards that find entertainment in it, but…if you do your research on this breed you will find that this breed was NEVER EVER bred to be aggressive towards humans. In the fighting pit, these dogs must be handled by humans, one that would turn on a human was not tolerated. It is unnatural for this breed to show aggression towards humans. Unlike breeds such as the German Shepard or Doberman, the pit bull was not created nor used for human protection. DOG AGGRESSION IS VERY DIFFERENT FROM HUMAN AGGRESSION! Are there bad pit bulls? Yes. Are there bad Poodles? Yes. They are DOGS. A dog is only as dangerous as their owner allows them to be. The pit bull is a breed that is very special to me….no other dog in this entire world is as misunderstood as this breed. I own rescue pit bulls and I foster pit bulls (yes, plural because although this breed tends to show dog aggression, someone who is willing to dedicate to training and fully understanding any breed they own, not just a pit bull, will be able to manage “dog aggression”)…they are absolutely wonderful dogs!…if you know what you are doing. Do I believe that just anyone should own this dog? Absolutely not! It takes a very special, and RESPONSIBLE person to be able to properly care for this breed. Pit Bull – the word alone evokes many different emotions in people, and unfortunately, the majority of society has been misinformed about this dog. Why blame a creature who does nothing more than try to please his master? Why not hold the “responsible” human accountable? Let’s just give all the irresponsible dog owners (who, if they are raising an “aggressive” dog, are probably involved somehow in some other illegal activities) a “slap on the wrist” so it keeps happening over and over. Irresponsible breeding and reckless ownership are the reason why this breed has such a negative image.
The pit bull will excel at ANYTHING its owner wants it to excel in. Owner wants their pit to be some “champion dog fighter,” so be it…that is what that dog will be. The owner wants it to be a home guard dog? That’s what it will be(which, typically, would not be a good idea with ths breed because they are normally human friendly. However, if the dog is improperly bred as so many pit bulls are, human aggression can be provoked). Owner wants their pit to be a therapy dog, that’s what mine are. Tell me the eyes of the sick children lie when my oh-so-vicious-man-eating-pit bull gently lays on the hospital bed with them. There is truly no feeling in the world like helping to bring this breed’s true disposition out and visible for society to see.
We pit bull owners have to have tough skin. Our dogs are judged, we are judged. I’m bi-racial and I’ve never experienced such sterotypes than when I take my pit bulls out in public. Can I say I blame people for their unfair judgment? Probably not. If the 5′o’clock news reports so much of the same things, how can I expect people to not believe it? It is we “pit bull” owners who must take on the responsibility of making sure our dogs are properly trained and fully under control. If a lab bites some child, it won’t be on the news. In fact, it will most likely be written off as some freak accident. If your pit bull takes a dump on the sidewalk and you don’t pick it up, it will probably be on the news. PIT BULL OWNERS: please, please, please, do not give your neighbors, family members, the news, the newspapers, ANYONE AT ALL a reason to label your pit bull as a danger to society. Take the neccessary steps to ensure your pit bull is a great representation of the breed….and if it’s not, please invest in training.
Do not let ignorance rule your life. People truly fear what they do not understand. As pit bull owners, we must accept that and give them all the reasons why they are WRONG. There is no cure for stupidity…on both ends, the judgment passers and the judged. You think only thugs and drug dealers own this breed? You think only uneducated people would care to have a pit bull? A menace to society? Well, I’ve got a master’s degree, a full time job, I pay my taxes and people see me and think I should own a yorkie or something…HA!!!!….I’ll take my Gucci bag, my Jimmy Choo heels and my super-mean-menance-to-society-dog-that-should-be-outlawed-PIT-BULL and get into my brand new lexus (which happens to be bought, not stolen if we want to go to stereotypes) as I drive to the children’s hospital in LA for our weekly visit. The kids are waiting for us. How’s that for stereotypes?
The new’s story did not say he attacked an old man.When door opened dogs attacked.
I’ve had and known my share of pitbulls. They have been both gentle as lambs and mean as cat pee. One female in particular we owned could not be trusted with strange animals or people. Call it a protective instinct or what ever you like, the fact is, she couldn’t be trusted so she couldn’t be kept. That folks is the bottom line. If you can’t trust the animal to obey your commands, then you have no business keeping it.
You guys are still at it? . . . wow. . . that’s conviction. I’ve got an idea. . . Lets just kill all the pit bull owners or those thinking of having animals that can kill someone. Hell, let’s kill everything with the ability to kill. . . On second thought, why don’t you just kill this conversation. . . Nobody is going to agree. . . It’s like gun control. . . and don’t even get me goin’ on that. . . but we ARE going to need SOMETHING to kill all those dogs and owners with. Why don’t you guys sort it out and I’ll get back to you. . . NEVER. . . peace for HUMANS.
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LOLBlips – Pitbulls Get a BAD RAP. Eminem Sober. Unrelated Stories?
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‘Til Then. . . Go Figg’r!
Peace Out. . . Later
D A N
P.S. This ain’t the old bit. (even though it looks strikingly similar) Please help to VOTE ME BACK WHERE I BELONG. 
If you wanted a *blurb* about Eminem. . . sorry (no I’m not) But if it makes you feel any better, I think it’s GREAT that he is sober.
That is a major accomplishment. MAN, it must suck being RICH. . . all those problems.
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