- Go Twitt’r for the week: Go Twitt’r for the week: How has becoming a grandfather "changed" me?…"Depends", I say…… http://t.co/UwwAXadG 08:03:33, 2012-01-21
- Go Twitt’r for the week: Go Twitt'r for the week http://t.co/StQt7kVR 11:14:41, 2012-01-21
- National Hug Day …and why not? National "Get Them Before They Get You" Day & National "Excuse Me, Do I KNOW You?" Day went so well. 18:40:12, 2012-01-21
- #ireallymiss these "little quiet times"…when we can all get together and appreciate just how wonderful I truly am…you're welcome 18:41:24, 2012-01-21
- #WhatIMissMost …my MIND. But I have joint custody…I'm allowed to visit it during "moments of clarity" & the occasional "epiphany" 18:44:24, 2012-01-21
- #YouKnowYoureDrunkWhen …to be honest, if you "know"…then you "aren't"…when "Everyone ELSE Knows"…you "are" 18:45:53, 2012-01-21
- back to work…I'm not sure I'm completely "on board" with this whole "responsibility" thing…peace 18:48:07, 2012-01-21
- Go Twitt’r for the week http://t.co/hPU4ggjQ 04:47:55, 2012-01-22
- #30thingsaboutme I'm secretive…and inappropriate…and I'm not telling you the other 28 things…BEEOTCHES! 18:13:55, 2012-01-23
- Gung Hay Fat Choy roughly translated means: "Group of Large Cows Dipped in Soy Sauce" 18:18:19, 2012-01-23
- Happy National Pie Day or as "fat" people like to call it…"Just another Rainy Monday" 18:19:42, 2012-01-23
- #TheBestPartPfMyDayWas …roughly around 4 AM, when I was still deep in REM & was a RICH Super Hero…now I'm awake…party over 18:01:52, 2012-01-24
- The Academy Award for "Crying Out Loud"…goes to the press covering Jonah Hill's nomination, for crying out loud http://t.co/kB8MOOJe 18:05:17, 2012-01-24
- Washington Wizards fired Flip Saunders, when they realized they could have had the EXACT same record with Flip Wilson (RIP) as coach 18:08:30, 2012-01-24
- #AsAKid …I "excelled" in most areas that were judged, evaluated & graded by adults #AsAnAdult …I think they went "easy" on me 18:12:54, 2012-01-24
- Happy Natio..nuh…Pea…nuh…But…uh…duh…(ahem) sorry…National Peanut Butter Day…had to finish my sandwich 19:03:36, 2012-01-24
- A Better Life is one attained through hard work, perseverance and a "can do" attitude…or you can just get your own Reality Show 19:06:35, 2012-01-24
- #AsAKid I got into trouble with the assurance I had my whole life ahead of me to get out of it… #AsAnAdult I dread checking my mail 19:09:23, 2012-01-24
- #AsAKid there was nothing I couldn't do…the future was limitless #AsAnAdult there is nothing I can't do… but my limit is 20 bucks 19:10:46, 2012-01-24
- Love Means Never Having to Say, “Who Farted?”:
So. . . What is LOVE? Let’s start with what LOVE isn’t, shall w… http://t.co/LwkfWlHC 19:33:56, 2012-01-24
- Paranormal Activity Marathon at my house 2nite! It's called DINNER TIME…My 2 teens complain for about 26.1 minutes…seems longer 22:13:06, 2012-01-24
- Love Means Never Having to Say, “Who Farted?”: So. . . What is LOVE? Let’s start with what LOVE isn’t, http://t.co/t9uULQV2 11:16:54, 2012-01-25
- #iTendTo my nasal hair as often as I change the batteries in my smoke detectors…both, are vital smoke detection facilitators 18:53:11, 2012-01-25
- #middleschoolmemories 1st time "communal bathing" was introduced to my psyche…where it has been "bouncing about" ever since…yikes 19:02:19, 2012-01-25
- #middleschoolmemories …a bit fuzzy, as a result of the 3 year concussion sustained as my head was slammed into my locker…daily 19:02:56, 2012-01-25
- #HighSchoolMemories Okay…"Hyperbolic Stare-oids Left Me a Little Teste" http://t.co/422OVzgp …and there you have it…'nuff said 19:05:55, 2012-01-25
- This has been fun & all, but I am growing weary of everyone's insights…I think I need some "me" time…stay reasonable 19:09:26, 2012-01-25
- #WhoCaresIf u nevr lurned 2 reed sew gud…oll u nede iz a dreem…& sum muney 04:27:58, 2012-01-26
- Happy Australia Day…wedged smack dab between Peanut Butter Day and Chocolate Cake Day …(insert joke)…C'mon…You can do it! 04:35:52, 2012-01-26
- #ImNOTThePerson your mother warned you about…I mean, I WAS…but the title has changed hands…now, I'm into scrapbooking 04:40:52, 2012-01-26
- #TellTheWhiteHouse the slogan swap – "Change You Can Believe In" for -"Changed My Mind…My Bad" – is "ON LIKE DONKEY KONG" in '12 04:47:03, 2012-01-26
- Pat Sajak admits he had to be drunk to get through "Wheel's Early Years"…like a bad marriage…but, with a daily pay off 17:44:23, 2012-01-26
- #ThingsWhitePeopleInvented …play dates…ADHD…Red Dye #40…nannies…the child "leash"…& psychotherapy…thanks a heap, Chet 17:49:57, 2012-01-26
- #YouTheType be speakin' broken vernacular…so peep this, yo'…"Daneequa Don't Play" http://t.co/lExRWde3 …thas wassup…Peace! 17:59:39, 2012-01-26
- #ThingsBlackFolksArgueAbout …by the looks of it, the same damn thing we argue about in "our" house…except for the marijuana thing 20:31:43, 2012-01-27
- Happy National Chocolate Cake Day – If you're a FAT ASS…Live It Up! But the rest of the year, you still need to blame your thyroid 20:37:28, 2012-01-27
- Today) Fat Ass: "You know smoking'll KILL you!?" Me: "Yet I'm in remarkably good shape for a dying man…I bet that tears you UP!" 20:39:39, 2012-01-27
- #thingsthataresexy I'm only interested in telling you what is (NOT) sexy… Pubic hair on a bar of soap, scabs & Khloe Kardashian 20:44:16, 2012-01-27
- (Q) Are MEN "in charge" of a marriage? (CORRECT answer:) My wife keeps my balls in her purse…but I get to hold it…when we shop 20:47:27, 2012-01-27
- Well…have yourselves a truly satisfactory Friday…or Chocolate Cake Day…or whatever…just stay out of my way…I'm feelin' froggy 20:49:24, 2012-01-27
- …and ONE to grow on…"I'm Feelin Froggy, Bundt Cake Anyone?" http://t.co/THzVUCIQ …so it's an "old" one?…so's your mama 20:55:49, 2012-01-27
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