. . . One could argue that it’s transferred, simply through osmosis, I’ve been searching high and low for the right prognosis, Now, I’ve settled on a term and found my diagnosis, . . . It’s SuperCaliFragilisticExtraHalitosis. . . (catchy, huh?. . . You have NO idea HOW catchy) . . . I should probably [...]
Read More(For those of you who’ve been waiting for this…sorry…I didn’t forget about you…Especially the little old lady in Poughkeepsie and my fanbase in Sweden… (Tak) thanks ~danof89) So it’s that time of year again…When all of the “Best and WORST of the Year” lists are being pumped out in frenetic fashion by any and every [...]
Read MoreIt’s not very often I get excited about “anything”…you can ask my family. When the show “Heroes” was cancelled a couple years back, I thought it’d be a while before something else came along to replace it in my psyche and make good on Hollywood’s broken promise of being an “Entertainment” industry. But all that [...]
Read MoreThis Story starts, as so many do, with two guys hangin’ around a “water cooler” in an office. (I only worked in an “office” once, in the late ’90′s. I still see water cooler trucks. I assume that is where they are making the bulk of their deliveries). . . but I [...]
Read More. . . I mean “testy”. . .Unless you are doing a “self-examination”. . . in which case, it might be true either way. Unless you’re a woman. If you ARE a woman. . . congratulations. . . on putting up with being one. That’s some kind of dedication. I couldn’t do it. Too much [...]
Read More(Originally published September ’09) “Funny”-the Basics What does it take to be a good “comedy writer”? A question posed to me, last night, as I sat in front of my computer, desperately trying to come up with something to write about for my next blog entry. Let me amend that somewhat. I was actually asked if I wouldn’t mind [...]
Read MoreWell, it’s been a while “Party People”!. . . What have YOU been up to?. . . really?. . . how terrific for you. . . Well, let me be the first to tell you, that I don’t really give a crap. . . You’re here to hear what I’ve been up to. . [...]
Read MoreIt’s not about WHAT you know, it’s WHEN you know it. ~ danof89 . . . I could probably write “volumes” of books on what it’s like turning 40 in today’s young, aggressive, take-no-prisoners, show-no-mercy, dog-eat-dog, no-holds-barred, three-word-hyphenated world; but who’s got that kind of time at “my age”? Anyway, who’d read them? A [...]
Read MoreHey Guys. . . I’ve been busy over the past couple of weeks. I’ve been trying to get the New Site up and running. However, I wanted to take this opportunity to share a “rough” of the first few chapters of the Children’s Book (and Hopefully FILM) I have been working on, of late. . [...]
Read MoreI could have just as easily called this effort, “Scooby Doobie Screwed”, but I didn’t want to perpetuate any negative stereotypes out there about what we “artists” use as inspiration for our work. I also didn’t want this entry to be confused with my other “Doobie” bit, as it is a different beast all together. [...]
Read Morevia Photobucket “Yeah…this is an old bit… but so’s yo’ mama!” ~danof89 From the pages of one of the most MEANINGFUL and WORTHWHILE Publications of ALL TIME, comes the definition of a phrase that transcends all pointless and redundant phrases to have come around since. . .” You SEE what I’m Saying?” The Phrase: “Back [...]
Read MorePeople have an uncanny way of identifying something that bothers me, conspiring to find “creative ways” to make it 100 times even MORE annoying, then “treating” me to this behavior, on a regular basis, until I say “when”. . . WHEN! ~danof89 (Warning: This bit is LONG. . . so you may want to unplug the phone [...]
Read More…I think there’s a pretty solid reason why I haven’t gotten as far in life as I’d hoped, at this stage in ‘the game’. I’m becoming even more aware of the reason with each passing day. Every job opportunity that has passed me by. Every promotion that I’ve seen given to someone else less [...]
Read MoreTo My Readers: I have been working on this “bit” for nearly a week. As I do from time to time around here, I thought I would talk about a “Hot Button” Issue. . . Racism. I also wanted to inject a little humor and introduce a subject that, to some of you, might be [...]
Read More…In light of recent “World Events”, I thought I’d dust off another little gem that speaks to the heart of what’s wrong with the world today…CRAZY PEOPLE…Not a lot has changed since I wrote this (another reason you don’t see me penning gems in rapid fire succession, like I used to). …I understand that people [...]
Read MoreI find myself at a very interesting age ( 40…and I was lying…it’s not that interesting ). By all accounts, I still“look” like a relatively young man. To look at me, you might even think I’m in my late 20′s. Unless, of course, you slowly creep up on me and get a better look. Then you can see the [...]
Read More. . .Um. . . What?. . . That really sounds more like a statement than a question. . . doesn’t it? I am frequently confronted with that statement/question and am rarely certain how the person would like me to respond to/answer it. . . Has there ever been a time in your life, when [...]
Read MoreSo. . . What is LOVE? Let’s start with what LOVE isn’t, shall we? Then, by process of elimination, maybe you can figure it out. I think that any of you that have been following my “Journey”, know that I have a distinct adoration for “All Things 80′s”. Unfortunately, in my exuberance for keeping the [...]
Read More…By which, I mean they tolerate the men…loving “Football”……They don’t really tolerate football… …The fact is, I think there are a large number of women that would like to “ban” football (and most ‘sports’, excluding figure skating and maybe gymnastics – neither of which, do I ‘personally’ consider ‘SPORTS’ as much as I consider them [...]
Read Morevia Randomoverload Wow! What a difference a year makes, huh guys? Last year, at this time, I had already given you the edition of my “Top 10 Scariest and Creepy” weeks before Halloween… This year?… well, I’m writing it… and the lists were “compiled” before Halloween (you’ll have to trust me on that) that counts [...]
Read MoreI never do anything annually. . . I suppose I do some things “semi-regularly”. Like pay my bills, eat, bathe, tell my family that I love them. But as far as EVERY YEAR?. . . There aren’t a whole lot of things that I can tolerate doing that frequently. When it comes to family holidays, [...]
Read MoreI hate lists . . . I really do, When it was suggested that I could boost my readership, by introducing them as a “fixture”, I thought it was agimmick. I thought that it was only something that writers do, when they are hard-up for actual material. So, I thought today, to overcompensate for my creative “shortcomings”, [...]
Read MoreWarning: If I seem like I have a chip on my shoulder. . . I do I suppose that the people that say, “Jesus is the Reason for the Season” and all that have already got their meat-hooks in you. . . Seeing how it’s just a couple days before Christmas and all. . . [...]
Read More. . . and while you’re at it, why don’t you “Go Fa La La La La Yourself!” So let me get this straight. . . We wait until the LAST WEEK , OF THE LAST MONTH, of the year to take a look back and realize that our year may not have gone “Quite [...]
Read MoreEvery year, on average, there are 27 ”chimney-related” deaths in the United States. Out of those 27, fourteen can be directly attributed to a parent or family member’s failed attempt at “surprising” young children residing in the household, by pretending to be Santa Claus. This holiday season, in an effort to curb this troubling trend [...]
Read MoreIn Memory of Dad and Norm For those of you scoring at home. I took the job in Santa Monica today. However, unlike my usual shenanigans and zany wordplay, today I want to share something a little different. While I was returning from the LA area, my step-son was taken by ambulance to the hospital. [...]
Read Morevia 1389blog . . . I have one of those faces, I guess. . . No, actually, I think I have two of those faces. You either “swear” that you know me from somewhere OR you think I have an “honest face” . In fact it is the kind of face that A LOT of [...]
Read Morevia BlogSpot I don’t ‘profess’ to be the next Mohammed, Brigham Young or other person of someone else’s religious significance. I DO, however, talk to God on almost a daily basis. (He doesn’t talk back in words. . . That’d be creepy) In fact, in college I spoke to him A LOT. The conversation was almost always fairly one-sided, and [...]
Read MoreIt is almost upon us. . . Halloween 2009. I see it in the Stores. I see it in Television. I can see it all over the Media. It was just announced, in fact, that Paris Hilton has decided to dress up like a”whore” this year. She seems so happy. Like this is her excuse to really ”Let Loose” this year.Congratulations Ms. Hilton, I’m sure [...]
Read More(Just another in a long and growing list of crap you should’ve read when I wasn’t so busy… Just a recap…Yes. I still drive a bus…No. Not as a School Bus Driver. Yes. I’m still a smart-ass. No. I don’t find people “enjoyable” as a “whole”…back soon…enjoy) I’ll give you a hint. . . One. . [...]
Read Morevia Ratemyfunnypictures My Family is big on Halloween. . . HUGE. In fact, before I came along, with my “ultra-conservative, preacher’s kid ways”, I’d say my family was into it REAL BIG TIME. Yeah, it was that Scary. No I didn’t marry into a coven of witches, there were no altars or idols to “Zuul”. via Mormonteachings …It was just something so [...]
Read Morevia Tabletwallpapers …In actuality, I have very little…“free” time, that is… But I thought I take a break from the monotony, that is known as “my life” and check up on you guys… So…how’s everybody’s summer been?…Really?! That’s GREAT! Okay… Now on to more “pressing” issues… Like “why” have I decided to take the summer [...]
Read More(The more things “Change”…the more they stay the “Same”…I stumbled across this moldy but goody while cleaning out my “creative closet”…Though slightly older and wiser, I couldn’t help but look back at these musings and laugh at how utterly “pathetic” I was just a couple years ago…Yeah…I’ve got my s*** WAY together “now”…(*sobbing*)…excuse me…I need [...]
Read Morevia Amazonaws I have been wrestling over the last year on whether or not to pen my memoirs. But, since I am nobody of any great importance, I decided to “blog” instead… ~danof89 …I have a lot of projects like that. Things I’ve started, even if only by ”thinking” about doing them. Lets face it, a lot of us would get a [...]
Read More. . . If you have children, I HIGHLY recommend purchasing VIOLENT VIDEO GAMES. . . In fact, I think it is important for your children’s mental well-being to keep a Video Game Library stockpiled with gory, intensely violent and mind-numbingly desensitizing material. . . Hear me out. . . If you DON’T have [...]
Read MoreFrom “The Vault”… . . . Can I have a minute of your time? . . . I think if you more closely analyzed what that request ACTUALLY entailed, you might be surprised how your “Usual” response to it – “Sure”, might quickly change to, “Are you kidding me? Step off Fool! I got to [...]
Read MoreWhile amassing my substantial fortune employing a very well-defined and lucrative “business model”, I have picked up some very valuable information that I would like to share with you. . . it will cost you $5. (I kid) It seems very elementary in its simplicity, and to be honest, I am quite surprised that no one in the Business Community has come [...]
Read More(an oldy. . . but an oldy. . . from September of last year. . . what?. . . I’ve been busy, not much has changed and this one is funny. . . so, I’ll be with you shortly with something BRAND spankin’ NEW . . . that okay with you sporto?) . . . [...]
Read MoreFrom the “Baggin’ on Bako” files. . . I decided to dust off this little gem, for your perusal. . . WHAT?!. . . I’ve been frickin’ BUSY!. . . Anyway. . . though I no longer reside in Bakersfield, this does tend to be “that time of year”. . . When a wide assortment [...]
Read MoreI was asked recently, “Hey Dan! (because that’s my name) How do you like kids ?” I was unsure how to respond, because the person asking was well aware that I “own” four of them. “I don’t know”, I responded, “How do you like my shirt?” How in the world do you answer something like [...]
Read MoreMy 80′s! That’s Right, I said it! I understand that when I speak about the 80′s like they were some sort of “Enraptured” Event, it may tarnish the reputation I’ve worked so long to nurture and foster with those of you that assumed, I was actually “semi-sane”. But for the rest of you, that are [...]
Read More[Please note: The original title of this bit was "Skating Through Life on THIN ICE" - Chapter 1 (and other really cool titles for my autobiography). However, I was notified by some concerned readers (all 2 of them) that they were unable to share the "link" with others because the sheer length and "utter greatness" [...]
Read MoreI’ve had more jobs than Ryan Seacrest and Regis Philbin, combined. When I make that statement, I’m not referring to the 16 that Ryan holds NOW or the record-setting 18 at one time held by the,not so long ago, “King of All things Marginally Entertaining”, Regis. Mr. Philbin, for those of us that think he’s [...]
Read More. . . I have never been part of any “Get Rich Quick Scheme”. In fact, I was recently informed I have (unwittingly) been part of a “Stay Poor for an Indefinite Period of Time Ruse“. So what have I done to remedy the situation? Well, I’ve been WORKING. . . in between “Delusions of Grandeur” via YouTube . [...]
Read Morevia Yorapper “What’s Your Problem?“. . . . . .”You!”. . . No, No not you the reader. God forbid, I’d do anything to offend YOU! No, this is just a little mental and internal dialogue I have in my head when someone asks that open-ended question that BEGS, and most certainly, DESERVES a reply. [...]
Read MoreThis bit got lost in the “move” to the NEW SITE. . . Thought this would be a good time to “dust it off”. . . ~danof89 Guns are for idiots. . . No, that isn’t what I wanted to say. People that own guns are idiots. . . hmm. . . that’s not quite [...]
Read MoreThere was a recent “uproar” from the “Religious Right”, concerning the 3-dimensional rendering done by some artists made from the “Shroud of Turin”. There are a couple things I’d like to address concerning this “Uproar”. For “Christians”, who early on in their history, were routinely “Mauled to Death by Lions” in gladiator arenas. . . [...]
Read Morevia Starpulse My “favorite group” is reassembling…”again” …and though I missed them back in 2007…I assure you, I’ll catch them this go ’round…I thought I’d take this opportunity to… well, take this opportunity… …So let’s revisit a little read (or remembered) bit from a while back… and thanks to “Van Halen” and it’s members (except [...]
Read MoreI’ve been “drawing for money”, for over a Quarter of a Century now. . . I’ve been “telling stories” since I was able to talk. . . I hope. . . someday very soon, to be able to combine the two activities and bring home a sizable “chunk of change”. . . so. . . [...]
Read MorePlease Not e: Things have changed dramatically, since I first “penned” this gem. However, I came across it while writing the upcoming NEW BIT and wanted to share it again. . . I wrote it during a period when I was cranking out new stuff and think it may have gotten overlooked. . . Either [...]
Read More. . . Is this the year that I “turn the corner” on the whole “becoming a CELEBRITY thing”? Will it somehow “be different” this go ’round? Will I get up off my duff and “do something” that will “make a difference” in the ENTERTAINMENT COMMUNITY?. . . Well, chances are. . . “no”. I [...]
Read Morevia Isawthisimage I’m am often reminded that “Man… is fallible”… I am most often reminded of this, by “Charlie Sheen”… I haven’t really spoken publicly about what I think of Mr. Sheen and “his antics” over the course of this last year. Partly, because it’s really none of my business, but MAINLY because it really [...]
Read MoreIn a Sea filled with IDIOTS, I am an island alone. . . Where everyone gets stranded. . . trying to figure out how to drink their own pee. . . ~danof89 In my estimation we have become a society of “Hypocritical Wussies”. . . or is it “Hyper-Critical Windbags”? At this point, I am [...]
Read More…You did?… Well, then I guess I need to apologize “twice”… …Because I don’t really give a crap… All Seriousness Aside… I hope everyone is doing well (I guess) and I understand that I have been away from this site a little longer than I had originally intended. The reasons for my extended hiatus are [...]
Read MoreA “few” things have changed since I first penned this gem… I’m not even sure how long ago that was now… So yes, this is an “encore presentation”…But it “is” that time of year again… AND… Not “enough” has changed for me to feel any differently about how I felt “then”… Oh sure, we don’t [...]
Read MoreAll Seriousness Aside… I did get a baseball scholarship in College. For the FIRST year. Seems you have to be good to get a full ride! But this isn’t about my athletic prowess. No, I’d like to focus your attention to the JUMBOTRON in Centerfield (up above). That is something that those of you that [...]
Read MoreI’m here to tell ya’ folks. . . Everything Old ISN’T New, again. . . it’s “Retread”. Okay. . . I’ll give you Betty White. But I give Betty about 6 months. . . NO, not to live. I’m not THAT heartless. I wouldn’t even begin to try to guess when the old lady is [...]
Read MoreThere are times in one’s life, when words alone don’t adequately convey “ideas” that they are trying to represent… Sometimes they do “more” than an adequate job, but people are too stupid to “get it”. Some time ago, my site’s content was reviewed by an “Independent 3rd Party” (known simply as “Gabe”) It was determined [...]
Read More(A note to readers: …This is the first “bit” I ever wrote…about 2 years ago, for those who are counting – I certainly am – . I am currently working on an animated film and a couple scripts, which seem to be taking up a lot more of my “free” time than I’d anicipated. I [...]
Read More…So it’s almost over! The nearly 10 month wait… (Is it my imagination or does a season of “American Idol” seem to go on about as long as a hockey season -which, for the record, is WAY too long) …But, this year America let it be known that their “voice” would be heard…By voting in [...]
Read MoreI am a “product” of the ‘80′s. Yes, I was born in 1970, but I hold onto the ‘80′s as the decade that really introduced me to “this world” and ushered me in as its POSTER BOY FOR UNDERACHIEVEMENT . I look back fondly on that 10 years of my nation’s decadent, neon-clad, irreverent and [...]
Read MoreHey guys, just a little update on the EPIC “goings-on” regarding my little “Ode to Idol”…(and shows wanting to be “Idol” or an “unreasonable facsimile thereof”) I feel that an explanation may be in order for the animations that I’ve made in the “American Idol versus The Voice” series. Everything leading up to the showdown [...]
Read MoreI am truly convinced that there has been only one conspiracy theory ever, in the history of humankind. That is the introduction of the Ford Aspire in 1994. This compact deathtrap was billed as the Second Generation of the Ford Festiva. Though, I’m not sure why the Ford Festiva found it necessary to “breed” and [...]
Read MoreGo Twitt’r for the week
Read More